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I love growing older. I feel more youthful and energetic and hopeful than ever. I talked to young people who were shocked at old ladies having sex. I think the surprise for me was also about the power of intimacy over the power of sex. But you also say that sex is a bridge to intimacy. So one can lead the other and vice versa? Sex is never just sex. One of the experts you quote, Dr. These women are vibrant and strong and care about sex. You really need to put sex on your to-do list.

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People have to remember to be sexual. Sexuality matters to us until the day we die. How we manifest that is different for every woman. There is no gold standard. There is no perfect sex life. What matters the most is how you feel about your sexuality, your level of desire and your libido. You want to communicate your sexual expectations, desires and performance levels to your partner and for your partner to be on the same page. There were a few women I interviewed who were in intimate relationships with men whose libido matched theirs.

They had zero interest in sex and were happy just hiking in the woods. Some women just never thought of pleasuring themselves.

They grew up feeling it was naughty and had a lot of guilt about it. For them, this is a new adventure. Vibrator sales are huge. However, going long periods of time without having sex after menopause can actually cause your vagina to shorten and narrow. By abstaining, you may be setting yourself up for more painful encounters in the future.

This tool may help hwving your vaginal tissues back to a place that will improve sexual function and enjoyment. What if sex is too painful? Wpman without a long period of abstinence, sex after menopause is sometimes just more painful. Sometimes pain can havkng caused by infections or other treatable havin. Seeing your doctor can help you get the appropriate treatment as well as additional advice for your specific concerns. What positions work best? As we get older, our bodies start to change in ways that can sometimes make certain sexual positions painful. A position that was comfortable before may seem physically unbearable now. Using a pillow under your back for the missionary position can add comfort.

You may find that standing positions are more comfortable for both you and your partner compared to positions that involve either partner being on their hands and knees. Men are also going through some shifts in their 50s and 60s. Some men begin to experience issues with maintaining an erection and ejaculation at this age. Instead, focus on increasing intimacy through sexual touch and foreplay, and then follow those desires where they may lead you.

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